Saturday 2 July 2011

(Dis)agreement among friends

I've been seeing some pretty rude comments between 'friends' on social networking sites.  It's very hard to tell if they're meant as banter or if they really are being rather ill mannered towards each other.  It does make me wonder at the etiquette of online communication - should it have the same rules applied as face to face, or is a greater degree of rudeness acceptable.

It's always seemed to me that I need to be a lot more careful with emails and forum posting.  Computer text lacks the visual clues to indicate that a remark is banter (emoticons excepting).  It's very easy to offend unintentionally.  Plus, if offence is caused there's, the chance that the sender will never know that offence is caused - any apology for offence caused will also be delayed.  Face to face, you'd soon realise if what you're saying goes against your listener's beliefs and could moderate or explain your comments.

I've had the experience of posting on a forum and using a particular word in a restricted context - another user read it in a wider context and, fortunately, laughed at the unintended insult.  I think they realised what I'd actually meant.

Another time, a friend on facebook that I rarely meet had posted a series of diatribes against the break up of the forestry commission - an organisation I've never much liked.  I either had to bite the bullet and ignore their comments, start an on line argument, or, as I did, just quietly defriended them.  We met up a couple of months later and talked the issue through.  I could see their points, and in a face to face situation, they could amicably see my view.  We remain friends in real life but defriended on facebook.

There's a series of culture clashes online.  The usual demarcations between classes and generations cease to exist.  I have my sons as friends on facebook, something which is maybe needed for safety.  But I really don't want to be privy to their 'playground banter', and I'm sure they don't want me seeing their peer group opinions and language.  It would be good if you could have groups of friends, and interact only with the selected group(s) you want to.  OK multiple accounts would do that and maybe it can be done anyway but I'm not savvy enough.

Text speak / spelling / grammar.  OMG - I think that means oh my god.  How lazy can people get.  It's the responsibility of the sender to make what they send intelligible.  I don't want to have extra effort unloaded on to me by lazy ****ers making me try to understand their sloppy typing.  I know young people adopt a 'secret language' deliberately unintelligible to their elders - that's OK.  I also know it is possible to get too worked up about one or two errors, but for many people there are some basic errors in their efforts which demonstrate they're really too idle to care.  If you're one of these people careless with your grammar and spelling, please be a bit more careful.

If you didn't get the to, too, two, there, their, they're, you're, your usage then swot up.

If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you're a teacher, thank the rest of society for providing you with a job and all you need to live and teach.

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